Are You Among the Loneliest Americans? How Loneliness Impacts Your Physical and Mental Health

Introduction: Understanding America's Loneliness Crisis

Did you know that feeling lonely can hurt your health as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day?1 It's true. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General called loneliness a national epidemic.1 This isn't just about feeling sad - it's about a health emergency that's affecting millions of Americans. 

Loneliness vs. Being Alone

Is loneliness the same as being alone? Loneliness is feeling alone, disconnected, or not close to others - even when people are around you.2 It's not the same as being alone. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, or be alone and feel perfectly connected to the world.

Think of loneliness like feeling hungry or thirsty. It's your body telling you that you need social connection. This is a basic human need, just like food and water.3 

If you’re struggling, and you want to know how to deal with loneliness, keep reading to learn about how it affects your physical and mental health, and what you can do to combat it. 

How Loneliness Attacks Your Body

Chronic loneliness doesn't just hurt emotionally - it literally attacks your physical health. Here's how:

5 Health Problems Associated With Chronic Loneliness

  1. Heart Disease and Stroke - Chronic loneliness can increase your risk through ongoing stress on your heart and blood vessels.4

  2. Weakened Immune System - Lonely people tend to get sick more often and take longer to heal from infections.5

  3. Type 2 Diabetes - Long-term loneliness raises your chances of developing diabetes through stress responses.6

  4. Chronic Pain - Existing pain conditions like fibromyalgia get worse and harder to manage when you're lonely.7

  5. Early Death - The combination of these increased health risks can lead to dying younger than connected people.4

The good news? Loneliness can be addressed with simple strategies. But first, let’s answer the question, “Am I lonely”?

Am I Lonely? Recognizing the Warning Signs of Loneliness

The Numbers: How Common Is Loneliness in the US?

The statistics might surprise you. About 1 in 3 adults in America report feeling lonely regularly. Young people hurt the most - 30% of adults aged 18-34 feel lonely every day or several times a week. Single adults are twice as likely to feel lonely compared to married adults.8

8 Warning Signs You May Be Struggling with Serious Loneliness

  1. You Feel Disconnected, Even Around People - You can be surrounded by others but still feel alone or not close to them.

  2. You Lack Meaningful Relationships - You don't feel you have relationships where you can be truly known and understood.

  3. You Don't Feel Like You Belong - You feel like an outsider or that you don't fit in with groups or communities.

  4. You Feel Dissatisfied with Your Social Life - Your current relationships don't meet your need for connection and intimacy.

  5. You Feel Invisible - You feel like people don't really see or know the real you.

  6. You Feel Like You Can't Be Yourself - You feel like you have to pretend to be accepted by others.

  7. You Feel Stuck in Your Home - You feel trapped in your house with no energy to go out.

If one or more of these signs of loneliness resonate with you, you might be experiencing an unhealthy level of loneliness. 

Loneliness In Women

Research shows that certain groups face higher risks for dangerous loneliness. Women with chronic pain, depression, anxiety, and new mothers are especially at risk.7,10,11  

Studies show that one in five women suffer from chronic pain conditions, and women are more than twice as likely to take medication for depression compared to men.12,13  About 80% of people with autoimmune diseases are women, and up to 96% of fibromyalgia sufferers are women.14,15  (This means there are a lot of us women struggling with loneliness.)

When you already have chronic illness, loneliness makes everything harder. It increases inflammation and stress responses in your body. Actually, studies show that daily loneliness makes fibromyalgia and other pain conditions much worse.2,4,7 

This creates a double burden - you're dealing with both your chronic condition and the health effects of loneliness.

Women at Highest Risk for Dangerous Loneliness

New Mothers: The Hidden Motherhood Crisis

Many new mothers experience a kind of loneliness that’s unique to the experience of motherhood.16,17 After having a baby, many women feel like they've lost who they used to be. Being stuck at home with a baby can feel like prison for some women. Old friendships may fade while new parenting responsibilities take over everything. This, in addition to healing from the physical trauma of childbirth, coupled with less sleep and shifting hormones, creates the perfect loneliness storm.

This isn't how motherhood is supposed to work. For thousands of years, women gave birth and raised children surrounded by extended family and tight-knit communities who provided ongoing physical and emotional support. The modern, Western world’s isolated setup for motherhood  goes against our natural design and creates a huge risk for unhealthy levels of loneliness.18,19 

Chronic Pain and Illness: Medically-Induced Isolation

Living with chronic illness also creates unique loneliness challenges. When you have an invisible illness, like fibromyalgia, PCOS, or endometriosis, it can be hard to maintain friendships. Chronic conditions often leave little energy for social activities. And, connecting with people on an emotional level can be more challenging, since even supportive family and friends may not truly understand your struggles.7

Depression & Anxiety: The Fear of Judgment

Mental health problems can create their own isolation challenges. Depression and anxiety can make you want to hide from others. You might worry that others will think less of you if they know your struggles. This shame can keep you from reaching out for companionship, and this deepens loneliness.20

The Isolation Cycle

The ongoing struggle of coping with things like pain, fatigue, anxiety, depression, infertility, or body image issues, can easily create barriers to meaningful social connection. This often results in a cycle where your illness makes you more isolated, and the isolation makes your illness worse….which really, really sucks.20

Help is Available: Your Community Is Out There

If you're struggling with any of these challenges, you're not alone. Keep reading and we’ll give you some tips and tools to help you improve your social life and create meaningful connections with people who will accept and celebrate you for who you are. 

Understanding Women's Natural Need for Connection

Before we continue, let’s get something straight. If you feel lonely, it doesn't mean you're "high-maintenance" or "weak." Feeling lonely means you have a normal, healthy need for meaningful social connection. This need is primal and important.3

For thousands of years, people lived in tight-knit communities - especially women. Mothers, aunts, sisters, and child-free women all belonged in close groups centered around mutual care and sharing the workload. Everyone belonged - regardless of their martial or parenthood status.19

Modern isolation is unnatural. Whether you're a mother stuck at home or a child-free woman without community, today's isolation goes against thousands of years of human social structure.19

We're made for community, not perfection. Isolation might feel "safer" because you can control everything and avoid messy relationships, but we're created for connection. Relationships are messy, but they're what makes life meaningful.

Everyone's needs are different. Some of us are introverts who need less social contact, while others need more. But, we all have the need for consistent, meaningful relationships with others that go beyond the surface level. We need relationships that allow us to belong, and to see and be seen deeply.

When Loneliness and Depression Overlap: Understanding the Connection

Can loneliness cause depression? Loneliness and depression often go hand in hand. This creates a dangerous cycle - loneliness increases your risk of developing depression, and depression makes you more likely to become lonely.

Research shows that people who often feel lonely have more than double the odds of developing depression.20,21 However, there's an important difference: loneliness is about social connection, while depression affects your entire sense of self and daily functioning.20,21

Watch for these additional warning signs: If you’re lonely, and you also experience the following symptoms, you may be dealing with depression22:

  1. Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities

  2. Changes in sleep or appetite

  3. Persistent sadness

  4. Basic self-care like showering and brushing teeth takes a lot of effort

Important: If you have multiple warning signs of loneliness and depression, it’s very important to seek professional help.

Some situations require immediate professional help22:

  • Can't stop crying: Frequent tearfulness that interferes with work or family.

  • Can't take care of yourself: Basic hygiene becomes too hard to manage.

  • Not caring if you die or thoughts of suicide: If you're having thoughts of self-harm or don't care about living, seek help immediately - call 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Don't wait if you're experiencing any of these warning signs. Help is available, and you deserve support.

Resources: 

  • The National Network of Depression Centers has a great list of resources. 

  • Healthy Women is a nonprofit with resources for women dealing with a variety of health challenges ranging from endometriosis to depression and more. 


Proven Ways to Beat Loneliness

Now that you understand the pervasive, harmful impacts of it, let’s talk about how to deal with loneliness. Here are five ways to fight loneliness:

Research-Proven Ways to Fight Loneliness

  1. Reconnect with Old Friends - Reach out to people you miss. If you miss them, then there’s a good chance they miss you too. Send a little text to set up a coffee date, or just give them a call to ask how life is going. The nice thing about old friends is that you don’t need an agenda. Just reach out and be with them; you already know they love you.1,3 

  2. Make Small Daily Connections - Chat with cashiers, neighbors, or other people you see regularly. It’s good to have friendly connections and acquaintances, they fill an emotional need too. Just knowing the names of some people in your community can help you feel less isolated.1,3 

  3. Join Something Meaningful - Take a class, volunteer, or join a social group related to your interests. This one can be hard, but it’s one of the best ways to combat loneliness. Being part of a group can meet social needs that are hard to address without the kind of tribe mentality that these situations create.1,3 

  4. Get Professional Help - See a counselor when loneliness interferes with daily life; they can help you overcome barriers to being more social. If you want to reach out and make connections with people, but you’re too anxious, depressed, or exhausted, a therapist can help you, so you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself.1,3 

  5. Consider a Pet - 80% of pet owners say their pets make them feel less lonely…which makes sense since pet owners are rarely alone! (I mean, think of how many videos you’ve seen of dogs and cats interrupting bathroom time lol.) Just be sure you can adequately care for your pet and give them a good life.3 

  6. Make Time for Screen-Free Alone Time - While it may sound counterintuitive, many mental healthcare professionals recommend making time to be with yourself and enjoy the quiet of your own body, free of distractions. Yoga, meditation, hiking, stargazing, or really anything that allows you to be with your thoughts in a calm, accepting way can be helpful. We tend to escape into our screens and our books, but escapism isn’t healing.1,3 

Fighting loneliness can be hard work, but it’s vital to your health and wellbeing. Check out the resources below for support: 

Conclusion: Your Health Depends on Connection

Here's the truth about loneliness - it's as dangerous as smoking, but it's completely treatable.1 

You're not alone in this struggle - millions of Americans deal with loneliness, and it's not your fault.

The strategies in this article are proven to reduce loneliness and improve health - even tiny steps toward connection can make a big difference in how you feel.

Don't hesitate to ask for professional help when you need it - taking care of your social connections is just as important as eating well or exercising.1,4,5,6,7

Remember, with the right approach, you can build meaningful relationships and protect your health - there is hope, and there is help.

 

 

Ready to connect with others who understand? Join the Wholesome Story community on social media for support, encouragement, and practical tips for building meaningful connections.  Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and TikTok! 


In parting, remember that eating healthy, whole foods, and lots of plant foods, is one of the simplest, safest, and most effective things we can do to promote good health in our bodies. As with every preventative/restorative measure though, sometimes these changes alone are not enough to help our bodies function the way we want or need them to. If you are struggling with health problems, please contact your doctor or other healthcare provider such as a Naturopathic Doctor, Dietitian, or Mental Health Professional to see if they can offer appropriate guidance and care. We at Wholesome Story believe that healthy communities require community effort, so we advise you to keep your healthcare community aware and involved in your journey as you pursue better health.

 

 


Sources:

  1. Office of the Surgeon General (OSG). Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. US Department of Health and Human Services; 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK595227/

  2. CDC. Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness. Social Connection. Published May 15, 2024. https://www.cdc.gov/social-connectedness/risk-factors/index.html

  3. 20 Ways to Feel Less Lonely and More Connected | Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-influence/202204/20-ways-feel-less-lonely-and-more-connected 

  4. Social isolation and loneliness increase the risk of death from heart attack, stroke. American Heart Association. Published August 4, 2022. https://newsroom.heart.org/news/social-isolation-and-loneliness-increase-the-risk-of-death-from-heart-attack-stroke

  5. Pourriyahi H, Yazdanpanah N, Saghazadeh A, Rezaei N. Loneliness: An Immunometabolic Syndrome. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2021;18(22):12162. doi:https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182212162

  6. Siri Rosenkilde, Sofie Have Hoffmann, Anne Bonde Thorsted, et al. Loneliness and the risk of type 2 diabetes. BMJ open diabetes research and care. 2024;12(2):e003934-e003934. doi:https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjdrc-2023-003934

  7. Wolf LD, Davis MC. Loneliness, daily pain, and perceptions of interpersonal events in adults with fibromyalgia. Health Psychology. 2014;33(9):929-937. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/hea0000059

  8. American Psychiatric Association. New APA Poll: One in Three Americans Feels Lonely Every Week. www.psychiatry.org. Published January 30, 2024. https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/news-releases/new-apa-poll-one-in-three-americans-feels-lonely-e

  9. Signs and Symptoms of Chronic Loneliness | Cigna. www.cigna.com. https://www.cigna.com/knowledge-center/chronic-loneliness 

  10. Adlington K, Vasquez C, Pearce E, et al. “Just snap out of it” – the experience of loneliness in women with perinatal depression: a Meta-synthesis of qualitative studies. BMC Psychiatry. 2023;23(1). doi:https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04532-2

  11. Cigna C. Cigna U.S. Loneliness Index. The Cigna Group. Published 2018. Accessed July 23, 2025. https://www.multivu.com/players/English/8294451-cigna-us-loneliness-survey/docs/IndexReport_1524069371598-173525450.pdf

  12. CDC. Products - Data Briefs - Number 390 - November 2020. www.cdc.gov. Published November 4, 2020. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db390.htm

  13. CDC. New Reports Highlight Depression Prevalence and Medication Use in the U.S. Cdc.gov. Published April 17, 2025. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2025/20250416.htm

  14. Angum F, Khan T, Kaler J, Siddiqui L, Hussain A. The Prevalence of Autoimmune Disorders in Women: A Narrative Review. Cureus. 2020;12(5). doi:https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.8094

  15. Ruschak I, Montesó-Curto P, Rosselló L, Aguilar Martín C, Sánchez-Montesó L, Toussaint L. Fibromyalgia Syndrome Pain in Men and Women: A Scoping Review. Healthcare. 2023;11(2):223. doi:https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare11020223

  16. Nowland R, Thomson G, McNally L, Smith T, Whittaker K. Experiencing loneliness in parenthood: a scoping review. Perspectives in Public Health. 2021;141(4):214-225. doi:https://doi.org/10.1177/17579139211018243

  17. Kent-Marvick J, Simonsen S, Pentecost R, Taylor E, McFarland MM. Loneliness in Pregnant and Postpartum People and Parents of Children Aged 5 years or younger: a Scoping Review. Systematic Reviews. 2022;11(1). doi:https://doi.org/10.1186/s13643-022-02065-5

  18. Clisby S, Holdsworth J. Gendering reproduction: Gendering women. Published online August 13, 2014:127-154. doi:https://doi.org/10.1332/policypress/9781847426772.003.0006

  19. Bridgers E, Fox MM. Lonely, stressed-out moms: does the post-industrial social experience put women at risk for perinatal mood disorders? Evolution Medicine and Public Health. 2024;12(1):204-213. doi:https://doi.org/10.1093/emph/eoae025

  20. Luo M. Social isolation, loneliness, and depressive symptoms: A twelve-year population study of temporal dynamics. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B. 2022;78(2). doi:https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbac174

  21. Mann F, Wang J, Pearce E, et al. Loneliness and the onset of new mental health problems in the general population. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology. 2022;57(11). https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00127-022-02261-7

  22. Sawchuk C. Depression (Major Depressive Disorder). Mayo Clinic. Published October 14, 2022. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007

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